How to Handle Difficult Conversations with Employees
Whether it’s addressing a conflict, a sensitive issue or redundancy, difficult conversations at work are an unfortunate reality. These discussions are usually of a sensitive nature, can stir up emotions or are related to an employee’s performance. Regardless, managers need to be prepared and understand the best ways to handle these situations.
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WHAT IS A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION?
A difficult conversation can relate to many different situations. It may involve personal, sensitive or even uncomfortable topics, and is often linked to issues such as poor performance. While the subject matter can vary widely, these conversations share one key trait: they address matters that are not easy to raise but still need to be discussed.
The Importance of Having Difficult Conversations With Employees
Difficult conversations can be an unfortunate reality in the workplace. However, it’s important to address these matters before they escalate and turn into even bigger problems. Regardless of the situation, the quicker a problem is addressed, the faster it can be resolved.
Difficult Conversations at Work Examples
Common examples of difficult conversations in the workplace include addressing poor performance, discussing inappropriate behaviour, handling conflicts between colleagues, or delivering constructive feedback.
They may also involve sensitive topics such as redundancy, mental health concerns, or unmet expectations. Whether formal or informal, these discussions often require careful handling to ensure the best possible resolution.
HAVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATION TIPS FOR LEADERS
The specialists at Clover HR are here to provide you with some basic tips to help with these difficult conversations.
Don’t Delay The Conversation
Once a situation arises, the worst thing you can do is put it off. A difficult conversation only gets harder to have the longer it’s avoided. Therefore, we recommend addressing the matter as soon as you can. This way, it is dealt with promptly and reduces the risk of the issue escalating further or impacting team morale and performance.
Prepare Conversation Key Points
Depending on the conversation, it can be useful to outline key points in advance, as some employees may be confused or may dispute what is being discussed. Having clear talking points, evidence or examples helps keep the conversation focused, fair and objective. This preparation also ensures that nothing important is missed and allows the discussion to remain structured.
Use Examples
If relevant, use clear examples to demonstrate how behaviour or quality of work has declined. Providing specific, factual instances helps remove ambiguity and makes the conversation more structured. It also provides an employee with some clarity on any mistakes or mishaps that they’re responsible for. Examples are a good way to identify a problem and how to work towards a solution.
Don’t Focus on Personality
Don’t make it personal. Keep the conversation focused on actions, performance or behaviours rather than individual traits. This helps ensure the discussion remains fair, objective and professional. At the end of the day, all parties should be working towards finding a solution, so it’s important to guide the conversation in a way that supports this goal.
Be Respectful but Direct
Don’t mince words during uncomfortable conversations it’s best to be direct and to the point. Being respectful is important but remember why you’re having this conversation in the first place. There should be no room for ambiguity when addressing issues as being direct is the only way they can be resolved.
Have The Conversation in Private
You should have this conversation somewhere private in the workplace and not in front of other employees or clients. A conversation like this can be uncomfortable and, in some cases, embarrassing, so it’s important to take into consideration the individual’s dignity and confidentiality. A private setting helps create a more respectful environment where the person can respond openly without added pressure or discomfort.
Active Listening
Take the time to listen to where the employee is coming from and practice active listening throughout the conversation. They may provide important context or insights that were not previously considered. Showing that you are listening helps build trust, encourages open communication and makes it easier to reach a fair and constructive outcome.
Manage Emotions
It’s important to be even keeled and not allow emotions to get in the way of what you have to address. While you should have an understanding of the emotions of all parties, it’s important to keep the nature of the conversation productive and solution-oriented.
Agree on Next Steps
Once you’ve addressed the matter at hand, it’s time to move on to the next step. This can sometimes be difficult but essential in order to move forward and decide on the best solution for all parties. This can vary depending on the situation, but it’s important to be decisive above all else.
Document Key Points
Being organised is key to any successful discussion. It may be a challenging conversation, but remember to document the key points covered, including any agreed actions or outcomes. Keeping a clear record helps ensure accountability, provides a reference for future discussions and supports consistency if further action is required.
Be Consistent Across Employees
In order to demonstrate fairness, it’s important to be consistent in any ruling, decision or action you take. Applying different standards to employees in similar situations can lead to confusion, resentment and potential disputes. Consistency also plays a key role in employment law, as inconsistent treatment could be viewed as unfair or even discriminatory.
WHAT SKILLS ARE NEEDED TO HANDLE A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION AT WORK?
You do not need a specialised skillset to handle a difficult conversation at work. The key is to be clear, respectful, manage emotions effectively and document important points. Taking this approach helps ensure your message is understood, keeps the discussion focused and supports accountability.
HANDLING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS WITH CLOVER HR
At Clover HR, we can assist managers on how to have difficult conversations at work and the best ways to achieve a resolution. Reach out to our expert consultants by giving us a call on 0330 175 6601, emailing us at info@cloverhr.co.uk or filling out our contact form.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
What if the Employee Becomes Defensive in a Difficult Conversation?
The important thing is to keep a calm tone to not escalate the matter. Acknowledge their perspective where appropriate as this can demonstrate understanding, but keep the conversation on track by sticking to your key points. You’re not here to argue; stick to addressing the situation and ways to resolve it, or informing an employee what’s expected from them in the future.
What if the Issues Involve a High-Performing Employee?
Everyone in an organisation must be held accountable. Rules should not vary based on role or level of experience, as this can lead to perceived or actual discriminatory treatment. Expectations should be clearly communicated, alongside the impact of the issue on the wider team or business, to ensure standards are applied fairly and consistently across all employees.
What if the Difficult Conversation Doesn’t go Well?
It is always possible that a difficult conversation may not go as planned, but it is important to remain professional and avoid overreacting. Allow time for reflection and consider arranging a follow up discussion. Document what was discussed, along with any agreed outcomes. In more sensitive or volatile situations, it may be appropriate to involve HR or a senior manager to provide additional support.
Should HR Always be Involved in Difficult Conversations?
HR does not need to be involved in every difficult conversation. Many can be handled by line managers. However, HR should be included when issues are serious, involve formal procedures or could carry legal risk.
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